Lyrics to
Jerry Springer

This version of Jerry Springer was released by Weird Al Yankovic in 1999.

Visit the Weird Al Yankovic Lyrics profile at Decade Lyrics - it has the Jerry Springer lyrics as well as the rest of the songs by Weird Al Yankovic.

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It’s been one week since we got to see
Cheatin’ lovers and cousins that marry
Five days since they had the show
With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho
Three days since we heard the tale
About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male
Yesterday it occurred to me
That I’ve been watchin’ a bit too much Jerry Springer

Holy cow, d’you see it last week?
Well, they had this one freak
Who sucker-punched his whole family
Do you recall when the brawl
Became a total free-for-all
And Jerry’s in the middle tryin’ to be the referee
Hey, see the stripper with the implants
She likes to lap dance
And date the boyfriend of her mother
Now here come’s Jerry’s next guest
And it’s a slugfest
‘Cause it’s her trailer trash brother
Nymphomaniac is back on crack
It’s like “When Animals Attack”
They all exhibit reprehensible behavior
Hit ’em in the nose, tear off their clothes
Step on their toes, that’s how it goes
They get so violent they have to sign a waiver

They’re always swearin’, cursin’, kickin’ butt, and pointin’ blame
On the air? They don’t care, they’ve got no shame
There was one guy who I’m sure felt a little strange
When he found out that his wife had a sex change
They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly
They have a history of ripping off their shirts

It’s been one week since they had the fight
With the Siamese twins and the transvestite
Five days since that awful brawl
They still haven’t got the blood off the wall
It’s been three days since the bitter fued
Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude
Yesterday, finally dawned on me
I’m spendin’ way too much time on that Jerry Springer

Baby, I’ve been sleepin’ with your sister
Oh? Well, which one?
All of them
Oh! Well, I’ve been sleepin’ with your best friend Jake!
Yah? Well, well me too!
Oh!
And I’ve sleepin’ with your dog Woofie!
(barking)
Woofie, you b-tch!
Well, I’m also sleepin’ with your pet goat!
(baaahhing)
That goat doesn’t belong to you!

Once you start watchin’, there’s just no stoppin’
Your brain shuts down, then your IQ’s droppin’
Jerry’s the king of confrontation
He’s a sensation
He puts the ‘sin’ in syndication
It’s totally worthless, like a bad check
It’s like a train wreck
Don’t wanna stare but you can’t look away
Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows
But with more weirdos
The ratings jumpin’ higher everyday
If you’ve seen the show, well then you know
It’s just as low as you can go
The guests are tacky and they’re lacking in their hygiene
And pretty soon some ugly goon
Comes in the room and then it’s BOOM
In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen

Well it’s the kind of show where people scream obscenities
Yankin’ hair, throwin’ chairs at their hubbies
“Jerry! Jerry!” Now the crowd starts their favorite chant
Should I turn off my TV? I just can’t
I have a tendency to watch it religiously
I have a history of taping each one

It’s been one week since the show about
Psycho killers with problems they should work out
Five days since the big surprise
When some loser’s wife said she’s shtill dating twenty guys
Three days wince he interviewed
A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude
Yesterday, it occurred to me
That I’ve been watchin’ a bit too much Jerry Springer
Tired of wastin’ my time on that Jerry Springer
I’ve got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer
Come over here and pull on my finger

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Weird Al Yankovic has released many songs over the years besides Jerry Springer. Weird Al Yankovic released songs from 1983 to 2003 spanning across albums like Weird Al Yankovic, Weird Al Yankovic In 3-D, Dare To Be Stupid, Even Worse, UHF - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack And Other Stuff, Off The Deep End, Alapalooza, Bad Hair Day, Running With Scissors, and Poodle Hat. Decade Lyrics has over lyrics & songs by Weird Al Yankovic.

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