Lyrics to
Toll Booth Willie

This version of Toll Booth Willie was released by Adam Sandler in 1993.

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“Welcome to Worchester. Dollar twenty-five please.”
“Hey, how ya doin’ Toll Booth Willie?”
“Good! Thanks fer askin, pop!”
“Aww, that’s great, you know, considering yer a fuckin’ idiot!”

“Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch!
I’ll come right outta the booth and fuckin’ whack ya, you fuckin’ prick!”

“Hey, hey, Willie! Hows it going?”
“Hey, can’t complain, pop. Hows ’bout you?”
“Oh, great, great. How much?”
“The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop.”
“That’s fine. Now should I give you the money,
or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?”

“Why you fuckin’ hard on!
I’ll fucking Carlton Fisk yer fuckin’ head with a Louise-ville fuckin’ slugger!
Whadya think of that ass fuck!?”

“Hi Willie.”
“Oh, nice to see ya M’am. Not a bad day, huh?”
“Well, I’m a little lost. Could you help me out?
I hear your the best with directions.”
“Well I know my way around New England.
I can tell ya that much. So where ya headed?”
“Well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way
to drive up your ass. You know, if you’d tell me,
I’d appreciate it, you fuckin’ prick.”

“You fuckin’ bitch! Fuck you!
You forgot to pay the fuckin’ toll you dirty whore!
I’ll fuckin’ drop you with a boot to the fuckin’ skull you cum guzzling queen!”

“Hey Willie.”
“Hey, how are ya?”
“Here’s a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself.”

“Dah, you fuckin’ prick!
I hope you choke on a fuckin’ bottle cap, ya fuckin’ son of a fuck!
Eat shit! Eat my shit!”

“Hello Willie. Good to see you.”
“Ahhh, Bishop Nelson. Nice to see ya.
That was quite a sermon you had the other day.”
“Hey, well I do my best.”
“Dollar twenty-five, Bishop.”
“Dollar twenty-five,
Willie. Isn’t that the same price your mother charges for a blow job,
you piece of dog shit!?”

“Ohhh! Have another one, you fuckin’ lush!
It’s not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin’ douche bag!”

“Hey!”
“Well hey!”
“Yeah, do you want the money,
or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?”

“Well, I already heard that one you fuckin’ unoriginal bastard!
Go suck a corn you fuckin’ piece of repeatin’ shit!”

“Hi.”
“Oh, hi. How are ya?”
“Fine, thank you. How much is the toll please?”
“For you sweetheart, it’s a dollar twenty-five.”
“Here ya go.”

“Thank you.”

“Hey! Hey! Honey! Would you like a receipt with that?”
“Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you so much.”

“And here ya are.”
“Umm, do you think you could sign it?”
“Oh, uh.. sign it?”
“Yeah, sign Toll Booth Willie was here.”
“Ok, sure. Uhh, by the way, what is this for?”

“Just so I could have proof for my friends that
I met the biggest fuckin’ dip shit with the smallest dick alive.
You understand.”

“Fuck you, you fuckin’ upity bitch!
I’ll fuckin’ fuck you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front
of your fuckin’ mothers! You’re gonna die, bitch! I’m comin’ outta the booth!”

“Ooooh! My fuckin’ leg!”
“Hey! You ran over Toll Booth Willie!”
“Oh my God! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a
dried up stinky dick licker.”
“Why you fuckin’ pricks.
I fuckin’ hear every fuckin’ word yer saying!
When this fuckin’ leg heals,
I’m gonna kick you guys new fuckin’ assholes!

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Adam Sandler has released many songs over the years besides Toll Booth Willie. Adam Sandler released songs from 1993 to 2004 spanning across albums like They're All Gonna Laugh At You!, What The Hell Happened To Me?, What's Your Name?, Stan And Judy's Kid, and Shhh...Don't Tell. Decade Lyrics has over lyrics & songs by Adam Sandler.

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